On November 24, the New Haven Register published a piece to which I had given the title, "At Age 40, a Change of Life's Seasons" (it ran in slightly abridged form).  Below is the essay in its entirety.
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This year, one of my children entered kindergarten, the other preschool.  My wife returned to work full-time.  My last grandparent died.  My parents entered their seventies.  I turned forty.

Poet Donald Justice writes, "Men at forty...are more fathers than sons themselves now." For many, that's true. 

This balance varies within families and may shift back-and-forth, as for other relatives.  Everyone has multiple identities in a family, not to mention a workplace or community.  Each challenges us to continue learning. 

The reputed narcissism of baby-boomers and their progeny is a cliche, despite fitful evidence of social concern among "Gen X," "Millennials," etc. Generalizing about generations can be facile.  Differences within cohorts -- views on politics, religion, values -- may be greater than differences between cohorts.

By age 40, what psychologist Jeffrey Arnett calls "emerging adulthood" has passed.  One is completing Erik Erikson's "young" adulthood stage and approaching the "middle," when continued growth and fulfillment is the hope -- stagnation the risk.

Mid-life and even "quarter-life" crises afflict some.  The "Midlife Club" claims: "Starting around 35 or 40, the reality of time running out can start both men and women on a frenetic journey of self-discovery and re-evaluation of their...goals." (http://midlifeclub.com/) 
 
However exaggerated, this evokes a cultural perception and elements of truth.  Glimpses of mortality may appear.  Life trajectories get established; we typically make adjustments, not sharp corrections.

Entering middle age seems a time both to focus on others and not to abandon the possibility of change in oneself.  Whether parents or not, we can assume more responsibility, help raise those younger and help care for those older than we are.
 
According to Richard Weissbourd, author of The Parents We Mean to Be: "Perhaps nothing tests adults and shapes adult development more than the experience of parenting."  Patience, discipline, managing anger, displaying respect, kindness and generosity -- these can be struggles. 
 
A sense of humor and of proportion are useful.  Seinfeld once had Jerry ask a woman whether she dated "immature men" -- to which she replied yes, "almost exclusively."  In my forties and beyond, I hope to remain in some ways immature, a vigorously playful, inquisitive dad and husband albeit responsible. 

As my parents age, the next phase -- supportive, if necessary caretaker son -- awaits.

The simultaneous health and happiness of generations of loved ones is fleeting if not rare.  My wife and I realize our family is at a precarious equilibrium, with two children and our parents still young enough to be active grandparents as they begin to reduce other commitments.  We cherish blessings while preparing for difficulties. 

Confucius emphasized the reverence one should show parents.  Confucian standards of filial piety are imposing.  Yet most of us are grateful for parental love and reciprocate that support when necessary; one report suggests a quarter of Americans are caring for elders.*
 
Interdependence across generations can evolve differently.  Some young adults move back in with parents; between 2000 and 2008, before the recession’s full effects, the share of those ages 25-39 back home increased 32 percent.**

Still, my generation -- individually and through strengthening such mechanisms as Medicare and Social Security – must strive to be stewards for our seniors, without sacrificing our children's cohort.  Swelling budget deficits reflect this dual challenge and its strains. There will be trade-offs, as a bipartisan national fiscal commission will soon report to the President.
 
While the poor and the sick are most vulnerable, no family is immune to dilemmas of aging, loss, and mutuality.  Barack Obama, days before his election, made a final visit to his dying grandmother.  His widowed mother-in-law moved to the White House to help care for the First Daughters.
 
For my wife and me, mornings are a hectic rush as we get our kids to school and ourselves to work.  We are doing what millions of families do.  Evenings may bring the reward of an enthusiastic child’s greeting and a run into my arms, before bath and storytime.  Forty can be a wonderful age.
 
Benjamin Franklin urged, "Do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”
 
Life’s seasons change; generations sustain one another.  Let’s not squander time together, or fail to prepare for the future.
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Notes

* http :// www.americanprogress.org/issues/2010/01/pdf/threefaces.pdf
See Report Note 22
National Alliance for Caregiving & AARP, Family Caregiving in the US, Findings from a National Survey (1997) (one out of four); Katherine Mack, Lee Thompson & Robert Friedland, The Center on an Aging Society, Georgetown University, Data Profiles, Family Caregivers of Older Persons: Adult Children 2 (May 2001) (more every year).

** New York Times article by Sam Roberts, published March 21, 2010, using analysis of census data and citing also Pew Research Center surveys.

Toy safety is in the news, as ConnPIRG and U.S. PIRG continue to work on this and many other consumer and environmental issues. 

This blog has discussed PIRG before, for example in posts on April 12, 2009 and July 14, 2010.

NPR's November 7 segment on The Anthology of Rap brought to mind Hip-Hop Revolution: The Culture and Politics of Rap, a 2007 book by Jeffrey O.G. Ogbar of the UConn history faculty.

The story also evoked a 1993 curriculum unit by the late Henry A. Rhodes on “The Evolution of Rap Music in the United States.”  He developed that unit in a Yale-New Haven Teachers Institute seminar led by Bryan Wolf (then of the Yale faculty, now at Stanford) on The Minority Artist in America.  Henry Rhodes had been a Fellow (writing a unit on the Harlem Renaissance) as early as 1978 in an Institute seminar -- led by the late Yale faculty member Charles T. Davis, on 20th Century Afro-American Culture.

Mindi Englart was a Fellow in a 2003 Teachers Institute poetry seminar that Paul Fry of the Yale English faculty led.  Her unit was on "Rap as a Modern Poetic Form"; she continues to teach creative writing at New Haven’s Cooperative Arts and Humanities H.S.

The Yale National Initiative to strengthen teaching in public schools hosted its annual conference last week.

There was news about the Delaware Teachers Institute in New Castle County.

A May 4 post to this blog mentioned another affiliated Teachers Institute, in Charlotte.